This is Baby Stark. He was born middle of March. I guess I should change the name of the blog to trying for 7. Our new little baby due July 5th will be #7. It is a girl and we are planning on naming her Reagan. The naming of babies in this household is becoming increasingly difficult because the older kids feel that they should be part of the process. My oldest son actually wore me down enough that I gave in and that is why the little man will be named Stark once we adopt him.
I am officially 28 weeks 2 days along with this pregnancy. The baby seems great. She is active and all the tests came back normal. Just a waiting game....
Things with our little foster baby are going great. Birth mom dropped out of the picture the end of November. We haven't had to do a visit since. Baby J is great. She is still pretty behind. She just turned 16 months old and still can't walk proficiently yet. But her vocabulary is coming along. She started using a couple of signs and she has a couple of words that she says consistently. We love her and are so glad she is part of our family. We have a TPR scheduled for the beginning of May. At this court hearing, the parental rights should be terminated. Birth mom hasn't had contact and has been arrested for drug possession numerous times. And there is no dad on record for either of the kids. It should be a pretty easy hearing. In fact, our caseworker told me that we should contact an adoption attorney, which I did today. Waiting for a call back. But I can't believe that we are at this place already. Baby J will be #5.
That brings me to #6....
We had a court hearing the beginning of March. This was mostly to wrap up the case with for J's older brothers who we had for over 7 months. They went back to dad and seem to be doing great. You could have knocked me over when birth mom showed up to the hearing. She was incommunicado for over 3 months and had active warrants for her arrest. But she waltzed in and took J from my husband and held her for the whole proceedings. It was agonizing for me.
She was 8 months pregnant at the time. When she disappeared, she still wasn't showing and so we wondered if she really was pregnant. I wondered if the baby could survive the lifestyle I assumed she was living. Birth mom reported to court that she was clean. That she wanted to get J back. That she was entering a rehab the very next week that would allow her to keep her new baby. It was all very surreal.
I expected to have to do visitation the next week if the reports were accurate. I waited on pins and needles. Now, I am a proponent of foster kids going back home. I don't want it to seem like I'm not. But in this case, I know that birth mom is not capable of caring for Baby J. And I worry that since she is so loved and coddled that is will hurt her to be in an environment where she is sort of an afterthought.
I was napping the next week, which I do every day. Being pregnant at almost 40 is not easy. I got a phone call from the caseworker which I ignored. I didn't want a visit. Then another call which I ignored. Then a text. I figured I would check out the text. The caseworker said call ASAP. So I probably swore and then called. She said the day we knew would happen has happened. My heart sank. But no visit or change. Birth mom had her baby. He tested positive for drugs in his urine. This is bad. Usually they have to test cord blood for babies. It means it was really recent use to show up in his pee. The baby would be removed from mom's custody immediately. Did we want him?
Did we? I told Trav that I would say no when this day came. This pregnancy has been hard for me. I feel like we are complete and don't need to try any more. I feel overwhelmed by what's on my plate already. Is it fair to my other kids? But then I felt this overwhelming feeling that we should and so I said Of Course.
Baby was 4 weeks early. Which is common in drug exposed infants. He weighed over 5 pounds. He was doing good but was being monitored for withdrawal symptoms. I asked if I could see him and was told it was fine. I just needed to wait for the warrant to be served for removal. The removal officer would call. That was at 12:30. So I called Trav. Told him we were taking the baby. Which, saint that he is, he was on board with. Then I scrambled to try to find gear for a preemie baby in less than one day. We were told we could bring him home the next morning.
I finally couldn't wait and called the hospital around 6. Everything was in order and I could visit around 8 after the shift change. So I went shopping for the little guy and then went to the hospital. When I first met him, I fell in love. He was so tiny and helpless with no one in the world to care for him but me. And so even though we didn't know if we would be able to keep him or what was in store, I was going to be his mama for as long as he needed. Nothing held back. I was all in. The hospital treated me just like his mama, too. That was nice.
He was able to come on Sunday morning.
He is now 5 1/2 weeks old. He is doing great. He is over 7 pounds. He is cute as a button. He has a really loud cry. His withdrawal symptoms have mostly abated. He likes to party in the middle of the night. I hope he gets that figured out before Reagan comes.
In my last post, I was so sure that our baby was a boy. I could feel a boy's presence. Now, I have no doubt that I was feeling Baby Stark. I am not clairvoyant or psychic. Even though it does run in my family. But I could tell we had a boy coming. It's nice reassurance when I feel overwhelmed and tired and wondering how we will do 3 babies.
So, we should be able to adopt these 2 kiddos by the beginning of June. And Reagan will be born soon after. Now that I 'm old they won't even let me go to term. They say there are too many complications that can crop up. So, I won't be surprised if she's a little early. My placenta deteriorates and calcifies early. But my babies like to go late. Not a great combo. That's why my first 2 sons were induced and it was a little scary. With Steel we monitored and I sat around and drank lots of water and he did great. We will see how this one goes...
I am so happy and excited to get to raise these little ones. I know it will be hard but this is what I was put on Earth for.
