“If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely.”
“Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent... But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you.
On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it...You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief... But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely.You know what pain is. You know what love is. "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”
I loved this part. I feel like I've moved on and I feel like this quote removes the quilty feelings that I have. I felt like it was too easy to move on. But I analyzed what I was feeling and what was going on and now I've moved on. This made sense to me.
“Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.”
I tell my kids all the time that we live in "the world" but we are not of "the world."
“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do somehing else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”
“I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on the good things still in my life. I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each every morning, a few tears, and that's all. ”
“I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on with the day.”
It's true. I think maybe its human nature to feel sorry for ourselves. But this does work. I just decided to not feel sorry for myself anymore and then I wasn't. Life goes on.
“There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. These things" -he sighed- "these things I so regret in my life. Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?"
I decided that I will forgive those people that I wanted to be with me when I was suffering and they weren't. I have decided that it doesn't always need to be about me. I will give love and not regret it.
“If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow.”
I've been sad about my new normal. I don't want my years of being a mom to end. Its really sad to me to not be able to have babies. I don't know how to prepare for my life with no young kids. It's all I've ever wanted to do. But I can't waste any more time. And I do want to be happy. I have to figure out how to find peace and say good bye to that part of my life and embrace the new one.
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